Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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