Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
They took my balls.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
