btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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