nutella sex= disaster
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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