You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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