Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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