I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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