So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
