Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
