I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
