No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
