I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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