Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
