Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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