I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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