I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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