i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
