why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Girls should come with a carfax report
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize