well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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