How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
