Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you never un-have a 4some
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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