$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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