No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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