Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
please don't ironically join a cult
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize