This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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