Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
