THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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