Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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