found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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