i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is wine microwaveable?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
