I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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