I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
