omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
