Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
