at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
