We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
