You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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