Welp...herpes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
