dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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