So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you mean i was at the winter classic?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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