okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
