btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
