3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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