it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
