i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
