I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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