it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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