Me. At least after what I've been through.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
