Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize