i jhust puked up my retainher.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
