I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize