It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
