You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
