It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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