My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I seem to have left my pride at pride
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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