Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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