Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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