wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize