And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The beer is more important than you right now.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
