3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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