if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
