Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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