to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
