scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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