At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
