you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
from now on my penis is your penis
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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