All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
