awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I faked an abortion last night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize