i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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